I hope I didn’t sign a confidentiality agreement because here I go. At one time the “Maple Lane Home Owners Association,” of which I am Vice President, had a problem. His name was Crazy Red Car Man. Notice that most of my eccentric neighbors have the word Crazy in their name? It’s not my fault that Scientific Classification puts them in the same species! Crazy Red Car Man allegedly decided to sue the HOA because he wasn’t happy living in the neighborhood.

Allegedly people were putting dog poop in his mail box, being rude to him and talking about him. Allegedly it was because his wife was not born American or was not a white American, I don't know, some silly nonsense that is allegedly untrue and made up. Allegedly he was under the impression that the HOA had a responsibility to make him happy and somehow he was able to get the ACLU to take his case for free.

To all of you who hate living in an associated neighborhood: MOVE! To all of you who think that the HOA has a responsibility to make your life enjoyable when the fact that it isn’t enjoyable is directly related to your inability to get along with people: MOVE! IT’S YOUR PROBLEM AND IT WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE WOODS!