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Welcome to the Bûrb Blog

Welcome to the window that overlooks a cul-de-sac in a small neighborhood called Maple Lane. I invite you to sit back, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the antics of the crazy neighbors, minivan moms and the wild people in the bûrbs. It doesn't really matter which city you live in, from suburb to suburb, neighborhood to neighborhood, the characters are always the same.

Listen to the weekly podcast, Suburbs & the City, by navigating with the links in the left or read from the bloggers below.  

  
The Bûrb Blog
Author: 'Burb Blog Created: Thursday, August 09, 2007 8:30 PM
A humorous (and sometimes NOT so humorous) look into daily life.

Grrr
By 'Burb Blog on Friday, November 30, 2007 11:24 AM

Why bringing your dog to work is a good idea:
 
1. She can console you when people make you sad.
2. She can entertain you when you are bored.
3. She reminds you to take regular potty breaks.
4. She likes you even when other people don’t.
5. She can attack people who are evil towards you.
6. She can win over people who are indifferent or mean to you.
7. She can give fleas to people who are female dogs to you.
8. She can eat that report that was due yesterday.
9. She can remind you why you keep going to this wretched place day after day: to pay her vet bills.
10. She can clean up your spilled French fries from the floor BEFORE your boss sees them.

Can you tell that I am having a particularly difficult day today?

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The Mad Pooper?
By 'Burb Blog on Friday, November 30, 2007 10:44 AM
This morning while I was sitting behind my computer at work (at the local high school), my email notification beeps and I read this: “Good morning, If anyone issued a pass this morning during 1st period (probably to a female student), please let me know. (The “mad pooper’s” sister has gotten into the act.) It may be a male, so anyone on a pass may be responsible. -Principle”
 
So right away I text message my co-workers who are out of the office today and say, “What’s this Mad Pooper business?” I figure they’ll know because they have been here way longer. They must have their phones off during the conference (how polite, no one does that anymore) and I cannot wait any longer because “Mad Pooper” just keeps racing back and forth in my brain like an annoying screen saver that hits the side of the screen and returns the other direction until it hits the other side and starts all over again. So, I ask a co-worker in another room. You'll recall my Rainbow Pooper blog entries last month. If not, search for them on the search engine below.
 
Apparently, last year, the “OMP” (Original Mad Pooper) would “catch” his poop and smear it all around the bathroom at the high school. This brought back memories of 8th grade when I walked into the bathroom in the girl’s locker room and someone had written on the mirror a la romance movies. They didn’t use lipstick though. Some misguided girl obviously hadn’t realized that you were supposed to use lipstick, not poo. Visions of “I love Bobby” scrawled largely on the mirror in broken brown traces are now the new screen saver in my head.
 
I think the all text “Mad Pooper” was a lot better than the picture version for my personal screen saver.
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Pierce my Chicken Tender Calories
By 'Burb Blog on Thursday, November 29, 2007 11:49 AM
I have two jobs at the high school that I work at; make sure the kids are only using the computers for school work and move the mobile laptop lab from class to class. The worst part is monitoring the computer usage of high school students.
 
The other day, a Spanish class was in the computer lab researching different Spanish artists and people who made a historical difference. One of the kids was looking at pictures of spiders and showing all of the kids around him. I asked him to please start working on his project and he said, “I am!”
 
I said, “What do spiders have to do with Spanish?”
 
He replied, “They’re Spanish spiders!”
 
I was drinking a glass of water and it came out of my nose from laughing. Don’t worry; it didn’t get on my work issued computer.
 
Today I was thinking about how strange it is that the same student who was “googling” “tongue piercing” and then after he satisfied his knowledge for that topic, his next search was for “calories in chicken tenders”. I sense a liberal arts student in the making.
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