I figured that I better write this entry now because my next door neighbor doesn’t know about my blog yet. Our front lawn includes about two feet of grass that is their property. Since the beginning of home ownership, there have been lawn wars with them because if they mow that strip when they mow their lawn, our lawn looks all unkempt, even if my husband just mowed the day before. He has offered to be responsible for that portion of their lawn and they still mow it every time. That said, my husband J has stopped doing it and one of us always looks silly and as if we don’t care. Now, we just try to be the first to mow and they have a follow up mow a day or two later.

A few weeks ago my jaw dropped so far that even now it’s not all the way back in its socket. Said Neighbor has a friend, we’ll call her Peppa Ballerina. Peppa (whom I’ve spoken to 3 times in my life) leaving Neighbor’s house, sees me working in the front flower garden and says, “It must be rough living next door to someone who has a perfect garden that they never have to work on, it just naturally looks good. Hard to keep up with, huh?”

WHA!!!!! Are you serious? Neighbor and I get along fine, especially since her hormones have leveled out following the birth of her beautiful baby. Who does Peppa think she is and what right does she have to say ANYTHING to me? Go back to your mom’s house. By the way, I happen to know exactly how hard they DO work when their yard looks good. In addition, they lived there a good year before we even bought the house let alone made it our shared residence a year after closing. Peppa, maybe you are correct this month that while Neighbor is still recovering from child birth, she doesn’t work that hard but her husband does AND you should see how hard they worked when you weren’t there. RUDE!

 I'm thinking that if you park BEHIND a car that is parked correctly, you might be drunk. I’m thinking that you are drunk, especially if it's at the grocery store on a weekday afternoon. But, more than ever, I'm thinking that you might be drunk if you have a tree branch under your car and even my husband saw you on the opposite side of town and remembers seeing your car prior to when I saw your car at the grocery store!

Okay, please see my beautiful diagram. A forty-something woman parked her car in such a fashion as the blue box, which represents a car (All of the boxes are cars). Keep in mind that there is another row of cars parked behind the blue car and NOONE could get out of their space because she had the entire lane blocked! Not only that but she must have run over a tree because it was wedged beneath the car. Please housewives don't drink too much in the afternoon if you are going to have to run out to the market to fetch dinner...or vodka.

 

During our radio show the other day, this topic came up. Here is a blog I wrote a couple of years ago.